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2018-04-24T10:57:55.002Z
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{"feed":"Thought-Catalog","feedTitle":"Thought Catalog","feedLink":"/feed/Thought-Catalog","catTitle":"Lifestyle","catLink":"/cat/lifestyle"}

1. Stop actively trying to forgive them.

2. If it was just words that hurt you, figure out why you were triggered to fear they were true. That’s what you’re here to resolve.

3. Wish them joy and wellness – not because they deserve it, but because you don’t deserve to live with the burden of their mistakes forever.

4. Be the bigger person and try to imagine what wounds made them act the way they did.

“The true mark of maturity is when someone hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.” – Unknown

5. Make a long list of the ways that you are a better person because you had to adapt in the face of adversity, and it made you wiser, stronger and more determined to build a better life for yourself.

6. If that person is no longer in your life, consider that their loss was not a punishment, rather, a form of protection.

7. Realize that people don’t always come into our lives to love us. Half of them come into our lives to show us to ourselves, to slowly make us into the people we need to be for the ones who will be with us forever.

8. Be honest about whether or not...

Before you settle down, figure yourself out. Learn what you like, what you don’t like, what matters. Make mistakes and fall in love. Get lost, get annoyed, and get your shit together. No one said it was going to be perfect or easy, but you’ll thank yourself down the road.

1. Go on a road trip – on your own.

2. Learn how to drive manual. Yes, it’s terrifying. Do it anyway.

3. Learn to appreciate relationships, even if they aren’t meant to be. Not everyone that comes into your life is going to stay.

4. Buy a random book from the bookstore and read the whole thing, regardless of what it’s about.

5. Learn to cook one family recipe perfectly.

6. Let. Fucking. Go. Whatever that thing is that’s holding you back and ruining your shine… let it go. It’s not going to help you get any further in life, so just throw it out the window and start again.

7. Go an entire week without your cell phone. And don’t be dramatic. It’s not that bad.

8. Plan a dream vacation for you and your closest friends. Spend the time bathing in the bliss of true friendship and great weather.

9. Visit a nudist beach.

10. Rescue an animal (any animal) from the shelter and make them your best friend. Shelters...

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

The more you complain, the fewer things will be fixed. If you’re constantly blame shifting and making pitiful excuses for yourself, you aren’t growing. You can’t be right all the time. That is the way that the universe works, unfortunately. So instead of whining about those things you aren’t happy with, change them.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Compromise is way more satisfying than always being right, Taurus. You aren’t always going to be deemed as a “winner”. And in all honesty, who cares? You want to be labeled as the winner in every single situation you face in your life. And when you feel as if that title is being claimed by someone else, you flip out. Taurus, pride isn’t a good look for you. If you give up some of that pride, you’ll find that winning comes from a feeling within, not just a trophy prize. You will always be a winner if you let yourself be humble.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Being a flake isn’t a good look, Gemini. You’re all talk, no action and everyone knows it. They won’t take anything you say literally, because you’ve gone against your own word far too many times. Your mind is constantly changing, which is okay, Gemini....

1. Position yourself close to them

“By positioning myself to be near someone without it seeming intentional. That way you get a lot of face time with the person for witty banter and eyelash batting.

Then I’d try to isolate myself, like by getting something from the kitchen at a party, and making sure the other person saw where I was going and if they ‘randomly’ showed up. If they showed up near me a few times and started chatting, it’d be pretty good confirmation they were feeling it too.” — floofloofluff

2. Look between their lips and eyes

While in conversation, look at their lips, then glance up to the eyes and smile slightly. Best done with mouth slightly open. Take a second nice, long look, and moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue. When done properly, men will have to adjust, women will squirm. Effective!!” — 2beagles

3. Try to make your skin brush against each other

“Stay near them when hanging out, not in a creepy following them around way, but in a sit beside them and keep a...

Forever couples are the ones who vocalize their feelings. They say sorry when they screw up. They say I love you whenever the thought pops into their head. They make sure their person never feels taken for granted and always feels loved.

Forever couples are the ones who wear their hearts on their sleeves. They admit how they are feeling, even when it’s embarrassing. They cry in front of each other, even when it’s awkward. They never hold back in front of each other. They release their true selves.

Forever couples are the ones who talk positively about each other, even behind each other’s backs. They don’t whine to their friends about details that should be kept private. They don’t write passive aggressive posts on social media. They only have good things to say. They lift each other up instead of knocking each other down, because they are each other’s biggest supporters.

Forever couples are the ones who communicate well. Who listen to each other. Instead of starting fights over every minor disagreement, they hear each other out. They are open to seeing different sides of the story. They rarely scream even when they are frustrated and stay away from the silent treatment.

When something is wrong,...

Watch her snap stories and like her photos but leave her messages unread. Make her wait to hear from you again. Make her wonder what your mixed signals mean. Make her wonder whether she is good enough for you.

You are going to lose her when you get cocky. When you assume she is going to keep fighting for your attention because she wants you that badly. When you assume she is going to stick around, no matter how many times you cancel plans or ignore texts or flirt with other women in front of her.

No matter how strong her feelings are, no matter how much she has endured from you in the past, she is going to reach a breaking point if you keep acting this way. She is eventually going to come to her senses and realize you are unable to give her what she wants.

When you have a big head, you won’t even realize you are losing her until it happens. You will feel smug when she sends the first text, when she double texts, when she asks you if you can hang out tonight or tomorrow or...

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

You are slowly growing into the kind of person who thinks before acting. Who actually stops to consider the way your words are going to impact the people around you instead of only caring about yourself. You are become less and less selfish as the years pass, because you realize how much kindness this world needs.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

You are slowly growing into a more forgiving person. A person who is able to move on from the past instead of dwelling on exes and holding grudges. You are slowly learning how to move forward. You are slowly learning to accept life is different now and that is not entirely a bad thing.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

You are slowly becoming more confident in yourself. You are not criticizing your reflection as much. You are not blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong. You are slowly becoming a friend to yourself instead of acting as an enemy, because you know self-love is the most important love.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

You are slowly learning how to stand up for yourself. You are not accepting the poor treatment you used...

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)

You love to chase thrills.

Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)

You are dependable and frugal.

Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)

You’re a master at conversation.

Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)

You are naturally so kind.

Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)

You demand respect from everyone.

Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)

You feel things so deeply.

Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)

You are committed to peace.

Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)

You just won’t be tamed.

Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)

You are the devoted type.

Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)

You are good at balance.

Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)

You know what loyalty means.

Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)

You understand why freedom matters.

Routine and ritual are everything, including, if you’re not careful, a dangerous weakness.

A few weeks ago, I got a letter—yes, an actual letter—from an NCAA player who will probably go pro. His question was a simple one: Like many basketball players he was big on pregame rituals and routines, but he was worried that these patterns made him vulnerable to being disrupted. What if the team plane was late and he had to rush his usual warmup? What if his headphones were dead or he forgot to pack his gameday socks?

Would his competitive edge—the comfort and confidence he took from these practices—suddenly turn into a liability?

This is a perfectly reasonable concern. Because while rituals can be a source of strength to an athlete or a writer, they can also be a form of fragility. Take Russell Westbrook, who is famous for his pregame routine, which begins three hours before a game. It starts with him warming up exactly three hours before tipoff. Then one hour before the game, Westbrook visits the arena chapel. Then he eats the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich (buttered wheat bread, toasted, strawberry...

You made me wait hours, sometimes days, for texts back and your replies only consisted of two-word answers. I would start and restart conversations, giving you plenty of chances to pick up the slack, but you would never help me. I had to carry every conversation. I had to fight to get an answer out of you.

You sent mixed signals, but whenever I did the same, you would get pissed off at me. You would act like I was being unreasonable if I told you I was too busy to see you or if I missed one of your phone calls, even though you did the same exact things to me every single day. You were a complete hypocrite. You made zero sense.

You bought me food, called me pretty, completely led me on — but told me you weren’t ready for a relationship right now when I was brave enough to make a move. You acted like you wanted me to become your girlfriend when we were in private, but when you were around other people, you wanted to keep your options open. You would flirt with other people directly in front of me. You would make me feel wanted and then turn around and make me feel like shit all in the same day.

You...

I have accepted you are gone. We are never going to see each other again. I’m never going to look into your eyes and I’m never going to feel your lips press against mine and I’m never going to get butterflies because your name suddenly sprung onto my phone with some stupid joke attached.

You are no longer a piece of my world. You are only in the past. I know that.

Except…

There’s still a stupid little piece of me that thinks you are going to come back someday.

I have daydreams about running into you. About joking around the way we used to do. About flirting. About fucking. I feel like the universe is not finished with us yet, but that’s probably because I’m not finished with you yet and I want to place the blame elsewhere. I don’t want to admit I’m dumb enough to still have feelings for you after how much time has passed.

I know it’s stupid to still think about you, but I can’t help myself. You are hard to forget. You meant more to me than most people, even though you barely paid any attention to me. You left a mark on...

1. You apologize when you don’t need to apologize

“I used to be socially awkward imo, now I get told quite often I’m socially adept and outgoing. Here’s what I changed that I haven’t seen mentioned yet.

-Apologizing for things you don’t need to apologize for. If you walk in your own house and your roommates are watching TV, you don’t need to say “sorry” if you made a little bit of noise coming in. Same with if you sidewalk-shuffle a person. Be comfortable in your own skin, find the humor in it and move on. The world will turn whether or not the others are offended.

-Tangentially, being overly diplomatic. It’s cool to be easygoing and agreeable, but you don’t need to pretend you’re someone you’re not to accommodate others’ views and preferences. It just makes you seem like a rug.

-The final one is laughing too loud and often. I’m still pretty guilty of this tbh. Be conscious of your laughter. People will feel like they have to work to impress you, making you a formidable entity in their eyes.

Don’t take any of this to mean that you shouldn’t be fun and easygoing if that’s your personality. IRL...

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)

You envy the people who are doing great in their careers. But you are too lazy to do something big and crazy in your profession. If you want to be as successful as the other person next to you, you’ll have to bust your ass. You can’t spend the rest of your 20s wishing to be like them. Use someone you look up to as an inspiration, but don’t look at them as competition. You’re not in a race with anybody but yourself.

Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)

The problem with you is that you don’t have a healthy relationship with your money. You spend your earnings like you don’t give a damn. When disaster strikes, you freak out because your lack of savings paralyzes your ability to be flexible. You are where you are simply because you can’t afford to be living somewhere else. Maybe not being so materialistic will help you save enough cash that you can use in emergency situations.

Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)

Here’s the thing, Gemini, you feel stuck because you change your mind the...

Inhale. Exhale. This city exhales you, exhales you in every breath, breaths that take me further and further from us.

With the inevitable continuance of time, I am finally allowing myself memories of Calvin Klein perfume and the sound of sleeping breaths and the first moments of infatuation.

I am allowing myself memories of touches not being touches anymore, but rather foreign skin entering my domestic skin. Of awakening to tips. Toe tips to fingertips to hair tips. Before us, I never knew that humans could exchange electricity between one another.

Sloppy kisses in the backseat of a taxi, sloppy kisses against the apartment building, sloppy kisses in the elevator up to floor six, and a nasty unawareness of waning time.

And there is always the first night where you sat at my feet and things happened.

And there is always that second night where we sat on the moonlit balcony and things happened.

And there is always the time with McDonald’s McFlurries and you acting as a nurse to that stranger and me getting turned on. And me in Italy with you missing me and me missing us. And getting high in the red and blue Ferris Wheel, speaking with wild thoughts and bright imaginations and all the countless moments afterward and in-between.

And after my...

It was a sunny, spring, responsibility-free Saturday afternoon — one of those beautiful days that was made for future nostalgia to treasure. I’d began losing some of my adolescent interest in things and found a newer, more foul-mouthed and rebellious clique to hang out with. They’d already been a fully formed trio with history attached, but invited me to be the fourth member of their posse. In return, I rewarded them by becoming the consummate teammate. I adopted their mannerisms, lingo, and personalities while abandoning my own in the classic coming-of-age trope called ‘trying to fit in.’ The quartet walked along the sidewalk with beach towels over our shoulders and our scuffed up Air Maxes scraping the concrete and flower petals under our soles. The streets were moderately lined with beautiful, white, Bradford Pear trees, which the neighborhood kids immaturely and inaccurately referred to as ‘pussy willows’ because of the particular stench they would emit when in bloom. Everybody always complained about the fishy aroma, but I always thought they smelled more like cum. When I made the mistake of saying this out loud, my new compadres laughed in unison,...

For the kind-hearted, every day in our life is a new lesson learned.

We have come to the realization that not all people have an equal life – some are happy, while others suffer a lot more. We are all tested in life, someway, somehow. We will always face a test that determines our next experience and who we are.

Have you ever noticed that the person who smiles the most is the saddest? The people who are nursing broken hearts, they’re the ones who are the kindest people you will meet. Kind people detest seeing others hurt because they know what it’s like to be unloved, to be sad, to be broken and to be alone. They are the ones who do what they can so no one else feels the same pain they feel every day.

When you’ve lived a painful life, you find joy in being kind. You learn to give the love and compassion that you’ve always longed for.

I grew up in a tough environment. I don’t have a lot of happy memories; my life has been an emotional roller coaster. I have been battered and bruised physically, mentally, and emotionally, still yet I am still standing. I have been through hell and back and despite all the hardships, as I grew...

This is for you.

This is for you on the days where you don’t recognize just how deserving you are of good things in your life. This is for you on the days where no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you always think that you’re not getting anywhere. This is for you on the days you feel worthlessbecause you definitely are not. 

On those difficult days, remember that you’re doing the best you can, and reflect on the things that you can and should control. You need to measure and take note of what you give out to others: your love, time, and energy, because these things are a major part of who you are. Are you giving too much of yourself to people who don’t deserve it? Are you giving too much of yourself to people who don’t reciprocate it? Or people who don’t truly understand your value? And most importantly, are you allowing the way people treat you to determine your worth? Are you allowing their views about you to change how you view yourself?

I really hope not. We all know that the only person who should ever ever be allowed to determine your worth, is you. Not the man who broke your heart, not...

Being from Florida, I thought it was fitting to research Ted Bundy, our very well known American serial killer. These are just 15 facts about Ted Bundy that I found the most bone chilling. The stories seem almost never-ending. He was a master manipulator and very charming. It was almost as if he had no personality at all – only the ability to show people what they wanted to see in order to get what he wanted from them.

1. In the early 1970s, Bundy worked for a suicide hotline in Seattle. His coworkers, including author Ann Rule, remember him as a skilled volunteer who helped ease troubled callers and saved lives. Talk about irony.

2. Bundy confessed to 30, (yes 30), homicides committed in seven different states between 1974 and 1978. However, the possibility of a higher victim count is plausible.

3. Bundy was uncertain of who is father was. (Maybe that cause me some issues for him) His mother was Louis Cowell.

4. The Cowells were devout Methodists and they were ashamed and embarrassed when they found out...

I’m scared. I’ve never said those words before to someone like you. I’ve never had those word to said to me from someone like you either.

Sure, I’ve said I’ve loved people before but it’s not like this. I didn’t say those three words while staring into someone’s eyes while our fingers are intertwined. I haven’t said those words so slow and deliberate that the receiver feels every ounce of love in the depths of their soul. I have left trails of my kisses along their jawline while whispering those words in between every time my lips collided with their skin.

And I don’t want to do it with you either. Not yet. Not because I don’t want too because I really, really want too. But don’t say love because we’re not yet ready. We’re not ready for the weight of what those words carry but it doesn’t make this any less real.

I told myself the next time I say those words I would mean it forever and never go back on it. I told myself if I feel those words start to fall out again I would make sure that this would be the right time. And even though I know it is, it’s scary when you know. Fear will...

Love.

I love writing about love. I find it a fascinating yet a complicated topic.

There are 5 love languages—do you know your love language? How do you love? How do you express your love? How do you know when someone loves you? And what makes you feel loved?

The problem with many relationships nowadays is that they expect their significant other to love them a certain way and do certain things, but the reality is that everyone generally has their own primary love languages for receiving love and giving love. It may be the same for giving/receiving, and it may be different.

The concept of “5 love languages” was developed by Gary Chapman the author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. He wrote how love languages can help you and partner love and understand each other better.

I have read the book and it explains to you that there are five love languages—five ways that people speak and understand love.

Here’s everything you need to know what each of the love languages mean.

1. Words of Affirmation

This language is all about expressing your love with words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. If this is your partner’s love language, they may appreciate a nice gift, a...