Being an independent woman means you are able to pay for your half of the check. It means you are able to afford the rent and shop for groceries with your own paycheck. It means you can take care of yourself. But that’s not the only thing it means.
Being an independent woman means you speak your mind. You call people out when they start treating you like shit, even if that means you’ll risk being called crazy or psycho or bitchy. When someone disrespects you, you don’t let them get away with it, because you know what you deserve.
Being an independent woman means you support other women. You don’t view them as your competition. You don’t judge them based on what they are wearing or what career they are pursuing. You hand them tampons in bathrooms. You compliment their hair. You help them get home safely. You treat other women as your teammates.
Being an independent woman means you put yourself first. You aren’t afraid of choosing the selfish option. You would never sacrifice your dreams, your happiness, or your sanity in order to stay in a relationship. You realize there are certain things that matter more than love.
Being an independent woman means you never...
When we stop doing things that numb, deny and avoid our emotions, we start becoming aware of them. When we become aware of them, what we are really doing is allowing them. That’s when something incredible starts to happen: we begin the process of releasing.
When you feel safe enough to let yourself feel, you start to unpack old wounds that you disassociated from to protect yourself.
Our bodies are genius, super-conscious wells of silent wisdom, and it is through feeling that they communicate with us. Most, however, are clogged with a backlog of old feelings, grievances, losses and beliefs we never reconciled. We start to believe that the fear and trauma is the communication system when in fact it is in the way of the communication system working effectively.
Here, everything you need to know if you’re in the process of releasing, but are feeling overwhelmed by it:
1. Feelings aren’t coming up to torture you, they’re coming up to show you false and limiting belief systems. If they’re recurring, it’s because there is some part of you that still believes in the thing that is holding you back.
Last year, during this time today, I was stuck with a guy who kept giving me false hope of ever getting into a relationship. Two years ago, I was having a hard time ending it with someone else because I wanted to convince myself that this one had to be the one. Four years ago, I just finished getting over my first love for a year because it was a break up I’ve never had before and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
“I’m not ready for a relationship” was starting to be that annoying song I couldn’t get out of my head. Those six brutal words I dreaded every time I felt it coming. Sometimes I honestly thought that those words were also said by guys who didn’t have the guts to say to my face that they never liked me from the beginning. It got me down for a while; I’m not going to lie because it makes you think what the hell is wrong with you? What is so bad about you that every guy that you come across isn’t so called “ready for a relationship”?
But then you came along and got me all scared with every move you make because I swear it’s too good...
I hope you finally wake the fuck up and realise this is your life, you won’t get another, and you win the lottery over and over again every single day you sleepily open your eyes in the morning. Too many have exhaled their last breath much younger than you, were born as sunflowers instead, or are fiercely fighting just to make it through another day. You are a human being, healthy and charged with this magic invisible fuel that for whatever reason, has decided to keep burning for you. I hope you see the miracle in that alone.
I hope you find the courage deep inside your soul to start living your life on your own terms, instead of how they’ve convinced you to be. Don’t settle for an easy existence, an okay life that all blends into one big blur. Don’t listen to them, don’t allow them to keep you down, trapped in the same life they find themselves blindly wading through. Unplug yourself from the matrix this year, question everything, and battle your way out of the cage to freedom.
I hope you devote yourself to that which you find meaning in,...
For many people, the past year was one of the most challenging times of their lives.
Among other things, Jewish people witnessed the re-emergence of Nazism; poor Filipinos died caught in the cross-fires of a drug war waged by their own president; refugees were used as a political tool by the powerful; and, perhaps, most worrisome of all – the digital world began to be plagued by fake news.
One could say that the last twelve months brought out the worst in all of us. But 2017 also spawned a number of triumphs.
There have been significant breakthroughs in mental health research. Women are finally feeling safe enough to come forward with their stories of sexual harassment. Marriage equality continues to spread globally. Thousands all over the world stood up to oppose different forms of oppression and in support of the marginalized.
And that’s just to name a few of the awesome things humans have recently accomplished! Plenty of which were swept under the rug, eclipsed by the dark periods we were preoccupied with handling.
Like most of you, I have experienced both sides of the coin.
Since moving to Denmark a year ago, I was constantly worried that I would never learn to speak...
1. When I was younger, I had this weird theory that I was stuck in time. I was convinced the future was an abstract concept no one had yet to prove true, or maybe it was just me who was stuck in a wormhole that kept me from ever growing older. I still remember being in Kindergarten and listening to my teacher talk about what things would be like in first grade and thinking, “That day is never going to come, because I will never not be in Kindergarten.” I couldn’t comprehend a world outside the expanse of the schoolroom’s linoleum floor. Sometimes I’m disappointed it turned out to be false. I think I would’ve liked to stay younger longer.
2. I got my first period before most of my classmates. I remember being so scared when I first saw the blood on my underwear, and then, suddenly, so irrationally angry. Why did I have to be the one who grew up fast? It felt unfair, as if someone had robbed me of my childhood, but I didn’t realize until years later that even though everyone in my family congratulated me and said I had become a...
By now, “family drama” is just part of the Kardashian brand. I mean, that’s how they got their own TV show, right? And hey, you can say what you want about the Kardashians, but we all love a little drama.
Last night, Kim basically broke Twitter by taking a brutal jab at ex-brother-in-law Lamar Odom, who honestly kind of deserved it after he made this shitty comment about his ex-wife Khloe.Burn! Lamar Odom on Khloe Kardashian: I knew my marriage to Khloe was over “when she was on her second or third NBA player”. pic.twitter.com/grmD3j8C3q — Mike Sington (@MikeSington) January 18, 2018
Sorry, Lamar, we know you’re probably pretty salty, but slut-shaming your ex for moving on with her life isn’t cute. Especially when you can take a pretty big chunk of the blame for the relationship ending. Remember that part, Lamar?
Though the Kardashians may fight a lot with each other, they sure as hell aren’t...
Having a shitty childhood isn’t an excuse for your own shitty behavior. You’re not a kid anymore. You’re a grown ass adult, but you’ve been acting like an immature child.
Besides, if having a father who is rough on you, who never got close to you, who treated your mother like crap, is a good enough reason to destroy your life, then why am I doing so well for myself after dealing with you for a dad? Why didn’t I become a pot head like you? Why didn’t I become an alcoholic like you? Why do I actually think before I act? Why do I treat my loved ones with respect? Why do I have a fucking heart?
You aren’t the only one who had a rough home life. You put me through hell and you haven’t stopped.
I know you’ll deny that. You’ll swear I had an amazing childhood. After all, you put a roof over my head. You paid for my schooling. You gave me money — and to you, money is everything. To you, money means love. To...
There’s something happening in the world today that everybody is seeing, but few people are registering to be as profound as it is.
We are no longer accepting institutions on the surface. We are no longer adhering to narrow prescriptions of how love, work and self should be. We are practicing meditation, yoga, eating well and discovering the importance of thinking clearly. We are utilizing tinctures and ancient healing modalities. We are honoring emotions and finding kindred spirits. We can sum up the core of it all in one line:Instead of worshipping the good, we become the good.
That’s what spirituality is.
It’s about not begging for grace, but being grace. It is not about earning mercy, but showing mercy. It is not about earning kindness, but embodying kindness. It is not about praising a creator, but becoming one.
Spirituality is what people want it to be, often pulling from different teachings and practices from around the world. But there are a few common beliefs: first, that life is about soul development. That what we experience is a mirror of what we are, and the objective is to become conscious of it so that...
I’m not going to rise up to meet your expectations when you’re failing to meet mine. I’m not going to be the one putting in all of the effort, the one who tries harder. Screw that.
If you repeatedly cancel on me at the last second, then I’m not going to go out of my way and rearrange my schedule to make time to see you.
If you take three days to answer my texts, then I’m not going to reach for my phone to type out a message as soon as I hear from you.
If you only call me when you’re wasted, I’ll wait until my words are slurred to call you.
If you flirt with other people in front of me, then I will assume it’s fine for me to do the same thing when someone cute strolls by.I’m not into the whole I-give-you-everything-and-you-give-me-nothing trend. I’m not going to give you more than I get in return.
I don’t understand how you could have a problem with that. It’s hypocritical, to say the least.
What do you expect me to do? Text you back paragraphs, even though you only give me...
1. Stop thinking you have to follow the plan your parents or society makes you feel like you have to take. You don’t. This year start doing the things YOU want to do, even if it’s not the conventional way. If you want to drop out of college because you don’t think that path is for you, do it. I know someone who failed out of community college and has now paved her way to making a hell of a lot more than I do at my 9-5. Don’t want to go to grad school after you graduate college? Don’t. Book a one-way ticket and backpack. Follow your dreams of being an artist, or a doctor, or a food blogger, or whatever it is your passionate about. Do what YOU want to do because it’s your life-not anyone else’s.
2. Stop letting fear dictate your choices. I know a very smart guy and he has all these dreams in his head of things he could do but he’s so scared of failure he won’t even start. Don’t let fear dictate your choices because when you look back on your life you don’t want to be left...
“You know Janne, I sit at a lot of tables with a lot of different business people. A lot of owners of companies. Very few or only one or two know what they do. You define yourself by your why. You have a purpose and you have a cause. I see you. You just happen to write books. You just happen to sell clothing. You have integrity. You’re not here to make money—I get you. I saw you across the table. You believe in what you’re doing strong enough and put it out there and therefore there is value in your work. Your making money and success if just a result of your beliefs.” — someone I sat at a table with last week and talked business with
I smiled so, very, very large when I heard these words on the telephone—like fire into my heart.
I had a meeting to discuss shipping rates a few days ago, in which many things were thrown around.
Many people in the online world who own stores overcharge for shipping to make a profit.
If you don’t know, now you do.
People can set whatever they want as a flat rate and sometimes they make a dime off shipping....
I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was in the third grade. It has always been a part of my life and will remain that way. There are days where I wish it would leave me in peace. There are nights when it screams at me, intensifying my fears and questions. There are days where I am plagued by it, where I can do nothing but wait it out. But there are also days where I am grateful for it.
I’m not saying anxiety is beautiful. It’s not. I know first hand. It’s painful and scary and it lies to you all the time. Anxiety is a powerful mental illness. And just like depression, it can end up in tragedy.
Millions of people have anxiety. And I know everyone suffers from it in different ways. Everyone has different coping mechanisms. Everyone has their own story. And I know many of you will disagree with me that anxiety can sometimes bring people closer together. But, this is MY experience. This is my story. This is not a generalization on the entire population of my peers that suffer from anxiety.I’m not here to tell you what YOUR anxiety feels like or looks...
This morning, I got an email.
“Oh, you’re going to laugh, not just at the funny clothes you wore, or how naïve you thought the animals were, or by the unrecognized angels in your midst. But at how close you were when you thought yourself far, how much strength you had when you thought yourself weak, and how easy life was when you thought it hard.”
For all the virtues of an increasingly more tech-heavy world, one detriment stands out among the rest: our perception of reality is skewed. We line and insulate our sphere of influence with people who affirm and agree with us. We put more value on how things appear than how they feel. But more than anything, our concept of what it means to be successful – what it means to be okay, even – is inflated, and this is why.
When our algorithms are showing us an endless feed of people who seem to be thriving in such specific ways – they’re wealthy and beautiful and smart and have perfect açai bowls for breakfast – it starts to look as though everyone who is doing anything important has a very...
Criticism has been unfortunately devalued and assigned terms like “hate” and “venom.” We perceive anyone who dissents as a bad person and wrap ourselves in a positive feedback loop of only people who agree with us and the choices we’re making, destroying friendships and even families in search of a constant positive feedback loop.
We’ve forgotten the important difference between positive criticism from people who want to improve our lives, and negative criticism from people who want to tear us down. The differences can be hard to spot for a generation raised to believe we are AWESOME!! And SPECIAL NO MATTER WHAT!!! To grow as people, we need to understand that criticism can come from a lot of places that aren’t anger or jealousy, including love and concern for our well-being.Ignoring these criticisms is a good way to push away people who care and maintain toxic relationships in our lives. Maintaining relationships with honest people is important.
First, consider what is being criticized. It’s easy to think that anyone who criticizes your behavior is actually attacking YOU, but that is hardly ever the case. Unless you have done something terrible to someone, what you perceive as anger and criticism is probably...
“The other day I had a moment of panic when I remembered a conversation I had 15 years ago with my high school hockey coach and worried about whether I sounded dumb.”
“Every night before I go to bed I have to look in both my closets, behind my shower curtain, and under my bed to make sure there’s no one in my apartment. I keep my door locked and one of the closets I check isn’t even big enough for someone to hide in, I’ve just see way too many crime shows.”
“I also have a bug phobia. When I lived in a house where there were centipedes (legitimately terrifying though), I made a circle of glue traps around my bed so that I could sleep at night knowing one wouldn’t be in my bed but then I started worrying one would go on the ceiling and drop down.”
“Anytime I’m driving and especially when I’m driving on the highway, I always think, What if I just floored it right now? Like what if I just gunned it and drove off the side of the road? Can that happen by accident? How many cars would I take out with me? Would I survive? Would I get in trouble?...
1. Practice kindness on a regular basis. Yep, that’s right. It’s 2018 and kindness is gonna be the hottest thing this season, honey. Be nice to those around you. You never know the difference it might make. It’s what a true boss ass bitch would do.
2. Stop saying, “Sorry to bug you!” in work emails. You’re doing your job. You’re not bugging anyone. Cut that shit from your vocabulary. We don’t have time for inferiority complexes.
3. Take your skincare seriously. Skin is the largest organ in the human body. BE GOOD TO IT. Wash your face. Remove your makeup. For the love of God, moisturize.
4. Stop making fun of things you don’t understand. A real boss ass bitch recognizes that we all have different taste and it’s tacky as hell to yuck another person’s yum. What you find lame might be what someone else lives for. Cruelty is never a good look. Let people be excited about the stuff they like.
5. Wake up with a purpose. It doesn’t always have to be grand. Or amazing. Or revolutionary. Your purpose can change. But set...
Zac Efron has had a pretty good year, as far as his work is concerned. His last two films, The Greatest Showman and The Disaster Artist, are both making rounds at awards shows and have gained huge fan followings in the process, and it’s nice to see the actor getting the recognition he deserves. His next project, however, is grittier than anything he’s ever done before.
That’s right — Efron is taking on notorious serial killer Ted Bundy in a biopic about his life called Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, which is set in the 1970s and will be told from the perspective of Bundy’s 7-year girlfriend Elizabeth Kloepfer (who will be portrayed by Lily Collins).
Though there hasn’t been much information released about the movie as of yet, Efron did tweet this picture with the caption, “Meet Ted.”Meet Ted. #BehindTheScenes pic.twitter.com/42IREG2kX6 — Zac Efron (@ZacEfron) January 17, 2018
Though the shot is pretty far away, we’re...
It’s easy to go on date after date, never really feeling anything at all. It’s easy to swipe right, to get a match, and to never respond to any of them.
It’s easy to feel nothing. To not feel a spark. To meet someone who is mediocre. It’s easy to settle. To settle for the guy that seems okay. To settle for the girl who is just ‘nice’. It’s so easy to settle for the guy that took you on that date where he talked mostly about himself and made no connection with you whatsoever. It’s the easy thing to do right?
We are all so desperate for love, that it’s easy to ignore the obvious. We are all so desperate to find someone, that it’s easy to just go for the first person who asks us out.But we need to stop. We need to stop settling for people who don’t make us happy. We need to stop settling for people who don’t make our hearts pound out of our chests. We need to stop settling for the people who are there, but who don’t truly understand us.
The kind of date you need to wait for isn’t going to be mediocre. It isn’t going...
We call people “toxic” in the same way that people like to refer to every ex they’ve ever had as “trash.” (Not everyone who rejects you is necessarily a bad person, even if they made you feel a bad way.)
It’s become a buzzword that’s so popular, it seems like everyone is dealing with an onslaught of “toxicity” in their lives because it seems like a fitting word to describe anyone who challenges or irritates you. It seems like most people don’t really understand what really qualifies someone to be “toxic,” and if they do, clearly don’t understand how to draw lines with them.
Toxic people are not people who you happen to arbitrarily dislike. They are not just anyone who has issues, has trauma, occasionally judges someone, is going through a tough time, or leans on you for help. These qualities make us human, not toxic.Toxic people are those who are wounded but aren’t willing to take responsibility for their feelings or their problems. They then do one of two things: make you responsible for those wounds, or to wound you, too.
A toxic person seems to consistently judge or...