{"feed":"The-Good-Men-Project","feedTitle":"The Good Men Project","feedLink":"/feed/The-Good-Men-Project","catTitle":"Lifestyle","catLink":"/cat/lifestyle"}
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When I was 18, I was living in a shelter for runaway and abandoned youth. My employment opportunities were pretty much limited to re-stocking groceries, loading delivery trucks, and working assembly lines. Naturally, I wasn’t very content with the situation. The future appeared bleak and hopeless, and I was desolately aware that I was lacking the education to change it.

Two years earlier, I had dropped out of school. At first, it hadn’t seemed like much of a loss. I had split most of my hours in school between the principal’s office, killing time in the restroom, and daydreaming in class. Also, I had resented the disciplinary structure of school and couldn’t wait to leave it behind. But after some time out of school, I’d begun to miss the good old days. My new prospects were dead end jobs, the new authority figures were social workers and sadistic supervisors, and my new peers were engaged in constant narcotization, petty (or not so petty) crime and even occasional...

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Are you a fitness-focused guy who did not see any result even after putting all your efforts at a gym?

Don’t worry here is the best strategies that can help you in reaching your goal. These strategies will undoubtedly lead you to accomplish your objective and changes to a fit, healthy and happier you.

Fitness is not just for specific age group people it is for all ages, think of it and start aiming to stay fit and wholesome.

A fit and healthy body can enhance your confidence levels and makes you look younger than your actual age.

Follow these strategies for optimal fitness:Plan in short spans

Trying to do anything in a short span or fewer days exerts pressure on you to achieve the end goal. It also helps to keep the focus on the next step you need to take.

Flexibility is the primary part of fitness

If you are focusing on doing workouts with weights, then try to do some stretches before and after your workout. It makes your body parts...

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98 percent of mass shootings and 90 percent of all murders are committed by men. Statistics show that since 1982, the majority of mass shootings-54 percent- were committed by white men and 16 percent were black men, according to data from Mother Jones. (Newsweek, John Haltiwanger)

Unspoken rage kills. We are seeing this play out, more and more, as business as usual in our daily lives as we read the news or watch it on public television. Our President sends off angry tweets nightly and gives permission for the hidden anger to come out and rear its ugly head. It is time to put the anger on a leash.

Elliot Rodger, 22 year old student at Santa Barbara City College, killed six people and wounded 13 others in a stabbing and shooting spree before taking his own life.

Rodger, dead now, his work done now, fits so much of a profile of men gone wild. He did leave a diary- in his case- YouTube videos and his rants bare his resentments toward women who never found him attractive enough, as primal a kind of status loss as can possibly be imagined. (Time, author Jeffrey Kluger, May 25, 2014)

I know the acceptance of rage, having lived in a household...

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A bill in Parliament that would lower the voting age for municipal elections from 18 to 16 is in the final stretch towards approval.

The bill in question has received broad multipartisan support, and will soon be submitted to the Constitutional and Supervisory Committee for additional editing. After that, it will go back to the floor of Parliament for a final vote.

RÚV reports that parties across the ruling coalition and the opposition have expressed support for the measure, with the exception of the People’s Party. Party chairperson Inga Sæland argued that children should be protected from political messages until they are 18, adding, “Leave the kids alone!”

However, as the language of the bill points out, Iceland’s young people are already quite politically aware and active. Almost every political party has a youth wing, for example, and numerous young people have taken part in or even initiated such movements as Free The Nipple.

Moreover, 16 as a proper age to vote in municipal elections is a common fact across Europe. Iceland, by contrast, last...

A constant refrain in work environments—why can’t people just do their jobs?

Coworkers struggle to understand cross-team politics and process. Some departments have a reputation for being the place good ideas go to die. Managers coach new employees on the bad practices necessary to get things done.

What most managers don’t understand is their role in this dysfunction. It’s kind of like trying to see the back of your own head. Sure, you can grab a mirror, but that only gives a rough estimation of what is really happening.

Take a step back and assess whether any of these situations are holding your teams back.

1. Picking up / handing off monkeys

Imagine holding the door open for a colleague who is busily texting on their phone. You did such a good job; management designates you as the building’s new entrance facilitator. In addition to your actual work, jumping up to hold the door open for colleagues is now top priority.

Right? That’s ridiculous. So is delegating tasks from one person to another, simply because it’s more convenient.

Helping out in a pinch does not equal taking on a new job.

People can be hesitant to step in if that work is likely to become their responsibility long-term.

Early in my career, a mentor describes the concept...

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This comment was by Jed Diamond Ph.D in reference to the post – Ask Erin: My Husband Left Yesterday — Is My Marriage Really Over?


As a marriage and family therapist for nearly 50 years, I’ve seen too many therapists, marriage counselors, coaches, etc. who don’t fully understand the complexities of relationships or the hidden, and not so hidden, biases that portray one gender as being the “bad guy” and the other as the “good gal,” Too often these days the man is seen as “bad” and the woman as “good.” I can certainly understand the shift. For too long, and its still happening, women were put down, denigrated, and seen as having problems. But reversing the bias and seeing men as bad, doesn’t help solve our relationship problems. That’s why we need programs like the Good Men Project that understand these are not simple issues and we have to struggle finding truth and...

Marie Franklin’s daughter paints her grandson’s nails, and she doesn’t understand why people have a problem with this.


I raised my kids pretty well, one boy and one girl. I am very proud of them both, especially for their acceptance of various gender and sexuality issues and orientations, and their general love for people of all kinds. My daughter has two kids, also one boy, 3, and one girl, 6.

She is such an excellent parent! I’m so proud of her, and of my beautiful grandkids. She also picked a wonderful husband.

As with all siblings, my grandkids want to play with whatever the other one has or do what they are doing. My granddaughter is the older child so she sets the stage most of the time and her little brother is eager to emulate her.

She is a girly girl, but also a tomboy. She loves dresses and frills but also wants to wear cowboy boots. Like most girls, once she found out what nail polish was she wanted some on her fingernails and toenails ASAP. And when she gets her nails painted, my grandson wants his painted, too.

Why wouldn’t he? His sister is...

“I can’t believe that!” said Alice in Alice through the Looking Glass.

“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

My ordination speech started with these words. You see, many impossible things needed to happen in order for me to get there.

Perhaps my own belief in impossible things made it so. This sense of magic, of the impossible made possible, is deeply connected to my faith. It’s at the core of me.

Though I have tried to shake it for many years to no avail, it remains a true feeling. One that has been constant in my life. I now know that all the practices I learned as a child still maintain my faith. But as a teacher, I often try and teach my students or my clients that faith is an action, not just a feeling.

God has always been present in my life because I constantly invite him. I seek him actively.

Chief of these practices is the study of Talmud the...

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It’s often said that a man without a sense of service is lost.

Knights did not fight for their own glory, they fought in service of their lady, for example, or the Grail Quest.

Many of the old grand narratives of our culture—and of manhood—have collapsed. The model of domination of the natural world has led to broad ecological damage; the model of patriarchy wherein women were only to be allowed a domestic role has been upended; and the model of self-interest that drives economics as well as many scientific models of selfhood is not only being challenged on an empirical level, but also questioned as a producer of “the good.”

How does a man, then, set out to live a good life, to “be good”?

In the three video sessions of The Inspired Man Summit today, we get three approaches.

The first session is brought by Yanik Silver, Founder of Maverick1000 and the author of the book, “Evolved Enterprise.”

Silver, an immigrant from Russia, explains how the new model of business and...

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For more than 40 years I have been helping men and the women who love them. In recent years, more and more women are contacting me who are concerned about their husband’s anger and how its impacting their lives. Here’s how one woman described her confusion and concern:

“For about a year now, I have gradually felt my husband of twenty-two years pulling away from me and our family. He has become more sullen, angry, and mean. The thing that bothers me the most is how unaffectionate he has become. My husband used to be the most positive, upbeat, funny person I knew. Now it’s like living with an angry brick. I want my husband back. Can you help us?”

I developed a quiz for men and for women who were asking why the man in their lives had suddenly become more irritable and angry. It was eventually filled out by more than 60,000 men and women. When the results were in, I...

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Dear Mr. Dad: My boyfriend and I have been going out for several years and are quite serious. We’ve even talked about getting married. We both have adult children from previous marriages, but while I’m very close to my daughters, he’s been estranged from his 25-year old son for more than 20 years, ever since he moved out. They’ve recently started communicating again, which I support completely. The problem is that my father died unexpectedly, and the funeral is the same weekend as a trip my boyfriend had planned with his son. I want him to come with me to the funeral, but he says that he can’t (won’t) cancel the trip. I’m very angry and my family is too. I don’t want to end the relationship, but I don’t know what to do.

A: First of all, my condolences on the loss of your father.

As for what you should do about your boyfriend’s choice, let me tell you a story. There’s an interesting case in...

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Since Donald Trump’s inauguration, we often hear the phrase “speaking truth to power.”

Political pundits bemoan that no one on the President’s staff will speak their mind to him. Every new White House appointment prompts the same question. Will he or she tell the president what they truly believe — speak truth to power.

Examining power more closely is an interesting task with Mr. Trump. The President of the United States has always been considered the most powerful man in the world — at least up till now. Let’s see if we can explode that myth by exploring recent historical context.

It’s interesting how events often foreshadow what’s to come in the future.


When Donald Trump cruelly insulted his Republican primary rivals, no one seemed to mind. When Marco Rubio commented on Donald Trump’s small hands only “The Donald” felt it was necessary to make an issue.

Here’s where impotence kicks in.

Power and impotence might be considered antonyms. While Rubio’s comment was clearly interpreted to imply sexual impotence, perhaps unknowingly he was actually a soothsayer.

Up to this point, President Trump has been arguably the most impotent President in modern history. One dictionary definition describes impotence as “the inability to take effective action;...

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A LIFE EVENTThe Schoolhouse Theater will stage The Color of Light in Westchester next year, but Bram Lewis and Janice Maffei have created “Schoolhouse in the City” readings of upcoming productions, and last week they invited 30 friends to a reading of my play. To watch what New York actors could do, just sitting in chairs, was a revelation. Austin Pendleton, powerful and vulnerable as Matisse, suddenly slumping at the end… Ginger Grace, precise and only seemingly chilly, as his assistant…Tom Mardirosian, all testosterone, as Picasso… Carole Monferdini, a brilliant opponent as the Mother Superior… Ken Schatz, preening and anxious as a young architect… Vincent Trani, an authoritative narrator… and Dominique Salerno, weak at the beginning and wonderfully strengthened by Matisse’s belief in her, as the nurse/nun — they took my words into the Streeposphere. And to have them do this with many of the people...

Burt Reynolds does an amazing job in ‘The Last Movie Star’

I am not a huge Burt Reynolds fan. I have seen some of his films, but not many. He was great in the new The Longest Yard, and I loved him on My Name is Earl. I knew little about The Last Movie Star going in. Yet In decided to give it a chance. It was not what I thought it would be. I was able to get a review copy and this is my thoughts on it.

(c) Lionsgate

You can read the plot for The Last Movie Star here:

Vic Edwards (Burt Reynolds) was the biggest star in Hollywood, a college football legend turned stunt double turned leading man. Now in his eighties, he’s convinced by an old friend (Chevy Chase) to accept an invitation to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award at a two-bit film festival in Nashville. The trip launches him on both a hilarious fish-out-of-water adventure and an unexpectedly poignant journey into...

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Nobody’s perfect, but if your relationships tend to peter out after, oh, two dates or so, your romance MO might be due for a checkup. Five common dating habits are most often to blame—read on to identify these buzzkills so you can avoid them in the future.

1. Adopting a Loser Mentality

OK, so maybe your job does suck, that skirt does make your ass look huge, and (woe!) you don’t know which fork is the salad one. Your date doesn’t need to know that. Fishing for compliments is another doomed tactic because if he doesn’t chirp in right away with what we want to hear (“Don’t be silly, darling, you’re much hotter than Charlize Theron! And a better actress too!), you get irritated. He, meanwhile, is thinking that it’s hard work seeing someone who needs so much reassurance.

The signs: Acting like the date has already been a bust, or that you’re lucky this gorgeous creature has even deigned to share the same oxygen as you, reads as insecurity. And...

A gathering of Americans in Iceland protesting gun violence in their home country was briefly interrupted by a man armed with a knife. The man was confronted by an attendee, and police were called to the scene, but it is unknown at the time of this writing if he has been charged.

There are over 600 Americans in Iceland, and dozens of them took part in last Saturday’s March for Our Lives against gun violence in the U.S. In Reykjavík, this march ended at Austurvöllur, the square in front of Parliament, where speeches were given. It was during one such speech that witnesses on the scene told Grapevine that a man drew a knife and began to walk through the crowd. An alert attendee, spotting the knifeman, hurled him to the ground, the end result of which can be seen in this video (Article continues after video):

(Video: Sara Oskarsson)

Andri Sigurðsson was one of the first witnesses of the knifeman.

“I don’t remember what alerted me to him,” Andri told Grapevine. “It might be that someone shouted that there was a knife. The guy is walking really slowly through the crowd and moving his head back and forth...

Embed from Getty Images My last post on Red Flags seemed to cause a ripple among my readers.Friends messaged me privately and told me relationship horror stories that could have been avoided if they’d heeded the red flags. Some readers described relationship experiences that they might have seen coming had they opened up their eyes sooner. Other readers said they may have been the red flags, which was enlightening and honest.One reader, Jim, reminded me that not every situation is dire, and it’s important to see the great people in our lives, too.This post is for them.“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” (Anais Nin)What do you do when you meet someone who’s great?Someone who seems to fulfill the checklist that you’ve been carrying around for a few years. Conversely, what if that person doesn’t fit the list but you have...

My guest on my Faith Deficit podcast is the wonderful Fara Tabatabai. Fara is counsel in Hughes Hubbard and Reed’s New York office and was one of the youngest lawyers in North America to pass the bar exam. Her practice focuses on complex commercial, products liability, securities, and employment litigation and arbitration.

Ms. Tabatabai is also committed to providing quality pro bono legal services. She has received several awards for her pro bono work, including two Legal Aid Society awards for her role in litigation against New York State to increase housing subsidies for low-income families and a Commitment to Justice Award for her work on an immigration case for Her Justice, an organization that provides legal services to low-income women.Ms. Tabatabai currently serves as Vice President of the Iranian American Bar Association’s New York Chapter and as a Member of the Corporate Leadership Committee of the New York Women’s Foundation. In this discussion, we talk about pretending for family, the importance of talking about secretive issues, and the motivation that comes from having a child.You can download this interview on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. Or you can listen here.
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GMP sends its wordsmiths regular writing prompts, lest our imaginations need a little boost. When I saw this one, mine went soaring!

If you could create the perfect male superhero, what would he be like?”

I jumped for joy, leaped and then landed with both feet on the ground, doing my best Wonder Woman stance. Some backstory here. For many years, I viewed myself as that force of nature Amazon who could take on any challenge, encourage truth-telling and overcome any foe. I practiced what I called ‘savior behavior’. Unfortunately, it cost me my health as a series of medical crises (shingles, heart attack, kidney stones and adrenal fatigue diagnoses in 2013-2014) kicked my butt and other assorted body parts. Once the heart attack occurred, I decided to at least temporarily peel off the cape and instead began to refer to myself as the Bionic Woman since I think of the stent used to...