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2018-01-23T17:43:20.072Z
0
{"feed":"Shut-Up-Run","feedTitle":"Shut Up + Run","feedLink":"/feed/Shut-Up-Run","catTitle":"Fitness","catLink":"/cat/fitness"}
I have run for 18 days in a row. This means I am streaking (running everyday). Unfortunately, I am not "double streaking." That is a term I made up for when you run every day, naked. I am not doing this for two reasons. Number one, no one wants to see that, and number two, I would freeze my titties off (or what exists of them).I decided to do a run streak for the month of January - 31 days. My made-up rules are:
  • I have to run at least a mile a day (I've been averaging 4-5 miles per day)
  • I will not run if I think I'm injured
  • I will run in all sorts of weather or resort to the wheel of torture (treadmill) 
  • I will run if I have a cold, period, but not a fever, flu, explosive diarrhea, projectile vomit, etc. Simple enough!

I've never done a streak before because I really didn't feel like it. Running every day is a commitment. Plus, I was always afraid I'd get injured. Well, so far so good. Thanks for asking.I've been chronicling my running and other stupid stuff (my pets, me eating Tide pods - jk - not funny) on my Instagram story- HERE. Join the fun!Last week I ran about 33 miles total. Here I am:
I very much realize it's a faux pas to put up resolution stuff on January 3. I never said I was punctual. But, these resolutions should be so effortless, you'll barely have to think about them. Read on.


1. Do not sign up for races when you have had more than two cocktails.

2. Only eat white snow while on long runs.3. Do not be as fast as Shalane Flanagan - because everyone needs to have one achievable resolution.4. Avoid hitting the wall in your next race by actually following the training plan.5. Resist the urge to punch someone in the face just because they tell you for the 99th time that running is bad for your knees.6. Remember to actually strength and cross train instead of just reading a million articles about how important it is and never doing it.7. Stop apologizing every time you get a pedicure and your toenail falls off...
I think it's a good idea to make your kids do things they don't want to do. It builds character.

For example, make them clean up all the dog poop and if they don't, make them eat it (jk). Make them work and make their own money and budget. Make them talk to their own teachers and advocate for themselves without you stepping in to save them. Make them write thank you notes. Oh, and make them climb this.

This used to be a cable car track (1900s) that took material up to Pike's Peak for the pipeline.The railroad ties now make up this massive staircase, climbing 2,000 feet in less than a mile.
I didn't ask for a lot for Christmas (my list was so random - 8 lb hand weights, Run Fat East Slow Cookbook and a fleece pullover from Yo Colorado.  And, one other thing - for our family to do the Manitou Incline. Ken and I had actually been wanting to do this for awhile - the kids not so much. It sucks to have parents who actually like to be outside doing things. 

Sam: So, let me get this straight. We're going to drive two hours to be tortured then drive two hours home?

Basically. Kids are...
This morning has started out beautifully! I overslept because I wore earplugs last night and was completely dead to the world as I dreamed about being in Costa Rica and at the same time hating my car insurance carrier (weird how dreams mix all kinds of shit up that just DOES NOT go together).

I got up 14 minutest late and took Heidi out back for her walk. Leaving our yard, the gate completely fell off its hinges, so I just propped it up, figuring someone would take care of it someday (best to ignore things and they go away).

Can anyone come over today and weld this for me? 

Heidi and I got out to the golf course where she left a humongous pile of poop. It was then I realized I forgot a doggie bag (I was still asleep when I left the house, basically). I was in full view of many houses and didn't want to just leave the poop at the tenth tee. So, I did what anyone in that situation does and got a stick and kebab-ed the poop and threw it in the creek. Fish food!

Never tell me I am not creative.

I came inside to Emma telling me it was hat day at school - she...
My son, Sam, was home from college for the weekend. He likes to come home because he misses me so much. Or, maybe it's because I feed him and provide him with a bed that has clean sheets (I think he told me has not yet changed his sheets on his college bed - I mean, it has only been three months since he got there so it's not like they're dirty or anything. It's not like there's B.O. and pieces of skin and drool all over them or anything).



Anyhow, I asked him if he was working out anymore. He used to go to the gym pretty regularly. He said, "No. It's just so hard to get over the hump mentally to get started again." And, I completely know what he means. The thing is, that's precisely why I never take a significant break from running or exercise. Because I'm afraid if I'm gone too long and I get out of the habit, it will be that much harder to start up again.

What I've learned is that there are two things in life that are really tough (well, there are many more, but these are just two of them): breaking bad habits and starting new, healthier habits.

Take drinking wine, for example. I am very much in the habit of nightly wine drinking, for...
If you thought I was going to discuss religion or politics - you would be mistaken! I won't touch those subjects with a ten foot pole. Or, my finger toe.

Morton's toes rule! So do pedicures, but clearlyI'm out of the loop on that one.Over the years I've realized there are things I like and hate that seem to completely go against the grain of civilization. Maybe this is true for everyone, I don't know. But, sometimes I feel like an oddball with my preferences. Don't know what I'm talking about? Read on.

1. I cannot run with a hand held bottle. I know I should, but it just feels wrong to me, like it throws me off balance. And, I hate running with anything in my hands. I know if I continue doing trail races and eventually ultras, I should probably get the hang of it, but for now it's just not my thing. I always go for my Hydraquiver from Orange Mud.



First let's talk about yesterday.


Did anyone else turn into one giant crying goose bump as she ran into the finish? Or, was it just me? You know you really love running when you cannot get enough of watching someone with such perfect form and stride run. I could literally watch her for hours. What a race. What grit and determination.

Moving on.

So, I was running on Thursday minding my own business when I spotted something along the sidewalk. Like you, I am always spotting random stuff while I run, but I rarely stop to pick it up unless it's money. And, it never is. Usually I see lots of dental picks and empty Fireball bottles. Once I saw a live parakeet and a pair of underwear (not mine. Eww).

But on Thursday, this random item caught my eye. It looked like part of someone's journal, so I picked it up. And damn if it wasn't someone's diary from 1989! I stuck it in my pocket and within a few feet found two more clumps of pages from the same journal. I took those too. In total there were about 30 pages.

I could not wait to get home to read the juicy tidbits that were surely contained in these pages. I kept a journal and it was FULL of details about romantic crushes, nights out on the town, friendships gone bad and...
For some reason, I love to hear about what other runners/endurance athletes eat. Maybe it's to get ideas, maybe it's because I'm bored, maybe it's because I want to improve my own diet. Whatever the case, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into what's in my fridge. Although I try new recipes each week, I tend to go back to the same staples. And, with these ingredients, I can pretty much concoct a healthy meal at any time.

This is my actual fridge. Guess what's in the white bowl?

1. Spinach - I buy the huge plastic tub of organic spinach. We eat a lot of it raw, but I also put it in soups, sauté it with some garlic salt, and add it to eggs. My new favorite breakfast is two scrambled eggs with a huge handful of sautéed spinach, topped with some grated white cheddar cheese and hot sauce.

2. Eggs - I cannot live without my eggs. I eat them almost every day. If not for breakfast, then egg salad for lunch or quiche for dinner. So satisfying. I tried to talk Ken into letting me get a chicken coop for the backyard. I don't know why he said no.

Disclaimer: I am not day drinking. I started this post yesterday evening. Not that day drinking is bad or anything...


If we were chatting over a glass of wine (I wish this were the case, cause right now I'm in my home office with the cat and a glass of wine = kind of pathetic, but at least I'm not drinking alone because the cat counts), I would tell you some crazy and random stuff (i.e., sh*t) that's been going on around here.

God. He's such a drunkard. Get a grip, cat. Go to C.A. (Cat's Anonymous) if you need to
If we were sharing a bottle of wine (or I could drink the bottle and you could just have water), I'd tell you that a week ago I was at home visit for work (I work with families who want to do foster care and adopt through social services - I do their home studies and certification), and I got tackled by a St. Bernard. I'm not going to say "attacked" because that implies the dog was aggressive. He was not, as far as I know. He was a one year old "puppy" with a tad too much energy. You all know I'm a dog person so when he came in the room (I was sitting on...
Yesterday I could not turn away. Every chance I got I was glued to the news trying, like the rest of the world, to make sense of what happened in Vegas. But, there is no sense to be made, unfortunately. Life can be like that.

Vegas. The adult playground.

Vegas. A place where I have spent countless nights with my best friends playing cards, drinking Grey Goose dirty martinis.

Vegas. The city of anniversaries, birthday, romantic getaways with my one and only.

Vegas. Where I go to escape reality in the best way possible.

None of the above changes for me. Even with the unspeakable shooting that happened on Sunday night. I'll still go there. I'll still love it. Only next time, I'll be visiting a memorial 500 yards from the Mandalay Bay Hotel to pay my respects to 59 people, hopefully not more.

This may sound sick and demented, but I've had this eerie feeling that Vegas would soon be a target. I always thought it would be a jackpot for terrorists - so many people in so small of a space. Huge, towering hotels full of thousands of souls. Right by the airport. The ultimate representation of debauchery, money and luxury. But, I envisioned it as an international terrorist attack. Not one perpetuated by a 64 American male. With 20+ guns in his suite. High above a crowd of 22,000 innocent and unsuspecting concert-goers.

Like you, this was one more...
Thank you for your endless texts, messages and comments inquiring as to whether I was "that woman" running around Colorado Springs shitting on people's lawns.

I hate to tell you the answer is "no," although I am flattered.

Let's break this down. I can see why such an article would make you think of me.

1. She is a runner (so am I!)
2. She lives in Colorado (so do I!). But she lives about 2 hours south of where I do.
3. She takes craps outside (I have been known to do this, but I do have limits as to where and how this occurs. Read on).
4. She appears to be around my height. But I have blond hair, she does not (and I don't own any wigs). I also don't own a grey spandex running suit.

If I am understanding the article correctly, this anonymous "mad pooper" had "been defecating in front of houses for weeks." One victim in particular, the Budde family, states that she has been crapping in their yard for 7 weeks. SEVEN WEEKS. The family even resorted to putting a sign up asking her to stop - to no avail. They said she ran by it 15 times and still pooped.

In a bold statement made by Colorado Springs Sergeant Johnathan Sharketti, he states "It's abnormal, it's not something I've seen in my career. For someone to repeatedly do such a thing…it's uncharted...
Last weekend Ken and I did a trail half marathon (Black Squirrel Half Marathon near Ft. Collins). If you do trails, you know they take much longer and are generally much more laid back than road races. Living in Colorado, we have our fair share of trail races, especially May through October. Even though I've done dozens of races over the past eight years, I am still always humbled and still always learning.

Start line. Ugly. 
 Here's what this race taught me:

1. Do not under eat before the race even if your nerves are messing with you. I am the type of person who gets some pre-race anxiety. Really the only way this plays out is that I am slightly queasy and have the toughest time choking down food. I had a jelly and butter sandwich with me to eat along with coffee before the race. With each bite I felt like I might puke. What I should have done is made sure I had an alternative food source with me, just to get in some carbs and calories. Even a gel  or a boiled potato (potatoes always sound palatable) would probably have gone down better. The result was that I started the race on a calorie...
It's 2:00 a.m and I once again ask myself, why the fuck do I do this?

I am 50 years old. I should be in my warm bed, not shivering in my sleeping bag in the middle of a baseball field in Somewhere, Colorado. I've run over 17 miles of mountains earlier and I'm not done yet.

But, see, that's the point! I (we) do these things because they take us out of our warm and safe beds and into the wildness of the world around us. That's exactly why I do all of these crazy races and adventures. It forces me to the side of discomfort, which means it forces me into growth. It prevents complacency and boredom. It rocks your little world - chews you up and spits you out and leaves you yearning for more (or, maybe it's just me?)

The Colorado Ragnar Relay on August 25/26 was my seventh relay. My first was accidental, back in 2009, before I even knew what a relay was. I won a contest and was rewarded (<that's subjective) with a spot on a fast-as-shit Hood to Coast Team, where I certainly did not belong in terms of running experience and skill. I was tentative to go it alone, so they also welcomed Ken onto the team.

Ken and I were by far the slowest. We never changed our clothes over the 21 hours. We smelled and looked disheveled. I cried a couple of...
You may be asking yourself: "Self - why do runners do such odd, embarrassing and humiliating things in public?" I've been giving some thought to this because it is one of the wonders of the First World.

Think about it - as a runner you are often out in the middle of nowhere, dressed pretty scantily and in the process of utilizing many bodily functions because the pure movement of running riles up and excites the body. This is the perfect combination for unbelievable things to occur. Also, running can sometimes make us delirious in the same way that it can make us feel superhuman and invincible So, then we do epic shit. Or, take epic shits.

Here is just a mere sampling of some things that runners have been known to do in public (taken from real life stories - mine and others).

1. We let bodily functions fly. Although we may not try to do this in public, per se, sometimes there is an urgency that cannot be denied. In fact, I have a friend (who shall remain nameless, but you know who you are) who was once on a run in a very nice neighborhood. Suddenly, her intestines got the best of her and an emergency situation came about. If she could have found a bathroom, a large tree or even a ditch, she would have done so. But, none of these items were to be found, so she had to let loose...
I just came in from mowing the lawn. Does anyone else mow their lawn? I had to mow the lawn as a kid. We had a HUGE yard and if you could have seen me as a 10 year old girl pushing the mower in 95 degree Maryland humidity, you probably would have thought I was a bad ass. Or, thought you should call social services because...well, child labor.

Some of my favorite posts from other bloggers are about stuff they are finding/trying/noticing, because it gives me ideas. I get stuck in my ruts and love it when I can find my way out to experience something new. So, in case you like these posts too, here are some of my recent favorite things/experiences/thoughts of mine.

1. Books. I love to read. But, my job requires me to pretty much read and write all day, so I don't do as much "fun" reading as I would like. Instead I can often be found watching The Bachelorette and feeling bad about myself (Lee is a snake and a racist).  I did, however,  just finish a couple of books.

This was a fluffy beach read (any book with "beach" in the title means probably not going to be the most serious piece of literature, especially when the cover includes bare legs and loungers and drinks).

I decided to do this race pretty last minute. I haven't been running much and didn't feel in half marathon shape, but I knew I had the miles available in my legs even if I wouldn't be super fast. So, I signed up and was especially encouraged by this in the race description:

The half marathon course will utilize well-maintained dirt roads, the Continental Divide Trail, and the Colorado Trail surrounding beautiful and historic Camp Hale. This will be a rare opportunity to compete on the same terrain that the troops of the 10th Mountain Division used for training during World War II. The 13.1-mile course is situated at 9,200 feet above sea level and will have minimal elevation gains reaching peak heights of 9,500 feet.

Based on this description, one would assume about 300 feet of gain, which is basically nothing when you run in the Colorado mountains. Well, foreshadow. They lied!!

Backing up, this area of Colorado about ten miles outside of Leadville is a place I fell in love with when I did the TransRockies Run last year. We stayed here for two nights. There is no cell reception and it feels remote. Here is one of my all time favorite pictures - Sylvie and I chilling after running 24 miles. And, after I did my first beer mile (I didn't even throw up!)

My last post was about 3 weeks ago. That's the longest absence I've taken from blogging in 8 years. What? You didn't even know I was gone? Thanks a lot.

I could make up a bunch of reasons for not writing - like I was out of town (only four days) or that I'm too busy (not really) or that I've gotten my period twice in the past three weeks (at least I'm not pregnant x 2) or that I'm running so much (a whopping 20 miles per week), but the real reason is that I just haven't felt inspired.

I've thought about it and I don't know why.

And, it's not just blogging. It's my "real" job too. No, I don't at all feel depressed. I just feel blah. 

The good news is I am inspired to run and to cycle. And, to see friends and to be outside and to eat a lot and to travel.

Here's me traveling and feeling inspired.



Grey Goose dirty martinis definitely inspire as well (with blue cheese stuffed olives of course):



I'm not going to get all crazy and down on myself about not being motivated in certain areas. But, I am...
I love these posts. We go to happy hour and I spill my guts to you and you look at me like I'm a freak, but pretend to be interested anyway. Thanks for that. Today I read something that gave tips if you don't know how to make conversation (loser!). Ask about FORD:

Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams

So, I'll tell you about some of these things tonight at happy hour and don't be offended if I don't ask you one f*cking thing about yourself. Because it's my blog, dammit.

If we were at happy hour together, I would tell you that running and I are having a true love affair lately. No, we don't make love in the middle of the trail, but we do connect and feel good together. Part of this is that I'm not forcing it - I'm just going with what feels good. It's not all perfect and it's not all fast, but it's working. This is me running. Because you've never seen a picture of me running before.



If we were on our second drink, I would tell you that I love doing hospice volunteer work, but this week it kind of got to me and I just didn't want to be with dying people. As much as it is uplifting to be with Heidi and to make someone feel better, the weight...
I ran a race last weekend, but something tells me it didn't really happen unless I blog about it.

Have you noticed I haven't been blogging as much? I didn't think so. Hard to imagine you don't live and breathe by my blog. Life gets in the way. Like work and teenagers and dogs and cats and running and cleaning up the soy sauce that spilled all over the fridge that no one else seems to want to clean up.

Then there is a part of me that wonders if I've jumped the shark here on this blog (< that's an old expression from Happy Days, which only old people like me know. Click on it if you need to know what it means you young shit).

I mean, I think I've written about every running angle possible on this blog from soiling oneself to Ironman reports to how one's period affects their running. And, I'm not paid to blog. Ad Sense stopped paying me a while ago. I think they thought I was too raunchy. Well, screw them. PENIS! BUTTHOLE! And, I don't love sponsored posts. So, there you have it. I'm blog poor.

But, I hang onto this little corner of the Internet because I like you all - my few readers who have stuck around. I like sharing with you. And I like your comments. And I love to write.

Back to the race report.

Today I was listening to a podcast - Tim Ferriss (one of my most favorite authors and pod casters, and I dare say I would definitely love him in person) was interviewing Phil Keoghan, host of the Amazing Race. At first I was like...meh...not too exciting, but I knew if Tim had that guy on the show - well, he must be something. Because Tim only has people who are influencers - people who can change the way we think and act for the better.

And Phil is something. Damn. Go listen right now.

I haven't quite finished the episode, but one of my take-aways is in regard to optimism.

Optimism. Do you have it?

op·ti·mism
ˈäptəˌmizəm/noun1.