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2018-01-21T10:30:13.743Z
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The only gay pool parties I’ve ever willingly attended (besides the ones I had to go to when I worked in the gay porn industry – true story) are referred to as “bear soup” due to the extreme amounts of rotund, hirsute gentlemen splashing about in pools at various locations in Provincetown. Go bears! I eat Ring-Dings on the regular so you’re probably not going to see me at your average, outdoor speedo fashion show gay pool parties. Speaking of gay pool parties, here’s what a gay pool party in 1945. Basically the same as today’s version, but I’m guessing the music was a little different and there were way less slutty twinks humping giant pool inflatables in an attempt to attract potential donors.

Filmmaker Geoff Story is currently working on a documentary called Gay Home Movie, and found footage of this party at the St. Louis estate sale of one Buddy Walton. Walton was a celebrity hairdresser in the 40s, and this footage is only some of the film shot during the party. Keep in mind that this party took place at a time when being openly gay was a HUGE no-no. It’s just dudes hanging decorations and dancing and making out by the pool, but I want to see more. (Ok, I actually want to see Cary Grant come waltzing in for some skinny-dipping.)

Pool floaties were oddly colored back then,...

The hottest trend in Hollywood right now (besides the ongoing one in which celebrities give their unfortunate children the names of cities that also sound like television hospital dramas) is to disavow writer/director Woody Allen. Actors appear to be taking Woody’s daughter Dylan Farrow accusing him of molesting her when she was a child seriously. (It only took three years.) Whereas actors once viewed Woody asking them to be in one of his overly long and overly talky movies as a sign that they’d made it, now many of them are claiming that they will treat it like he’s offered to personally clog all of their toilets for free. No thanks, Wood. The latest actor to jump aboard the “Nix That Nebbish” bandwagon is eternal hipster and misunderstood Instagram beauty Chloe Sevigny. Maybe.

Chloe’s at Sundance and Variety asked her if she’d ever work with Woody again. She appeared in Woody’s 2004 joint Melinda and Melinda. All signs point to “probably not?

“I have my own turmoil that I’m grappling with over that decision,” Sevigny said. “Would I work with him again? Probably not.”

That’s a little wishy-washy but at least she’s being honest. Sure, Woody’s probably a long-term ickster but what if he suddenly decides to shoot a biopic of silent film star Clara Bow for which I’d be perfect? Cover all those bases, Chloe! Yes, the...

The human representation of Taylor Swift Marketing Ploy #25 (“Platonically befriend dudes who don’t look like your other model friends so the world sees you’re not shallow.“), Ed Sheeran, got engaged. Hopefully his future bride didn’t see him in that End Game” video. Please stop chucking the deuces, Ed. Bodies are still frozen mid-cringe after watching that. She might call off the wedding! (Oh, and Darren Criss got engaged, too.)

People reports that Ed announced his engagement to long-time gal pal Cherry Seaborn on Instagram today.

Got myself a fiancé just before new year. We are very happy and in love, and our cats are chuffed as well xx A post shared by Ed Sheeran (@teddysphotos) on

Rock icon Tom Petty ascended “ Into The Great Wide Open last October (twice!) at 66 and TMZ is reporting that the results of his autopsy have been released. Tom overdosed on a mix of whatever you can’t get over the counter at CVS without a prescription.

Tom experienced multiple organ failure due to “mixed drug toxicity.” In addition to the Fentanyl patches he was using, the mixture of drugs that they found in Tom’s system included “oxycodone (Oxycontin), temazepam (Restoril), alprazolam (Xanax), citalopram (Celexa), acetyl fentanyl and despropionyl fentanyl.

Tom was dealing with a variety of health problems when he passed, including emphysema, knee issues, and coronary artery atherosclerosis. The major issue, however, was the one which every person over 60 seems to eventually contend with – a fractured hip. You can’t be an old person without breaking a hip. They should just issue you a hip replacement with your AARP magazine subscription.

Tom’s family confirmed the coroner’s report and issued a statement on his site saying that he didn’t deal with the hip and it got serious and might have led to the overdose.

The family says the linchpin to Tom’s demise was the fractured hip. He insisted on touring for 53 concert dates with the condition, which worsened over time and caused him to take the meds. On...

This fountain of wisdom from Cornelius, North Carolina!

I have been patiently waiting for the grand return of Inga Swenson, but this is not what I had in mind. Winter storm Inga has been fucking with the South and creating a mess. People have been told to stay inside and do whatever they do to keep warm. Now, my idea of keeping warm involves weed, whiskey, porn and microwavable pork rinds, but Shirley Nash of Cornelius, NC also has the right idea.

WCCB in Charlotte were interviewing the people to find out how they were going to spend their time during the winter storm, and a viral star was born when a reporter put Shirley Nash on camera. Shirley said that her family was pretty much just going to shove deliciousness into their bodies, and then she brought out the old saying “fat and sassy,” which I guess is the family friendly version of Netflix and Chill. Shirley delivered words to live by when she said:

“We’ll probably sit around and cook soups and eat bread and desserts and just get all fat and sassy!”

Now I need to see if “fat and sassy” is a tribe on Grindr because those are my people!

Woodrow Washam is the Mayor of Cornelius, but he better watch it. Because if Shirley Nash ever decides to run, the job will be hers. Because...

A post shared by Santiago López García (@santilopez8968) on Nov 3, 2017 at 11:40pm PDT

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My yankees hat looks very cool in the background in black and white. A post shared by Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) on Jan 18, 2018 at 12:53pm PST

Thirst trap and gay baiter extraordinaire Nick Jonas is at it again. But judging by his stage 8 constipation face, he should be holding some MiraLAX, not his iPhone – Lainey Gossip 

Why were goats skinned to make Lady Gaga’s hideous coat, when the designer could’ve just went to a dumpster behind The Jim Henson Company and fished out a few rejected pink Muppet puppets? The end result would’ve looked better too – Celebitchy

It’s obvious that Brandi Glanville is just slapping at Gerald Butler for attention, but still, she shouldn’t take it so personally that he really didn’t remember her. There’s not a memory chip big enough to hold the names of every piece Gerald Butler has fucked   – Reality Tea

Never mind the fact...

There’s reason to celebrate at the compound today (syringes of sparkling Botox for all!). Several months ago, Blac Chyna decided to sue Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, and Rob Kardashian for allegedly plotting to kill her reality show, and accusing Rob of being violent. The Kardashians wanted it thrown out, arguing that Chyna’s choice to get a restraining order against her Rob & Chyna co-star is what killed her TV show. Lawyers for Blac Chyna and the Kardashians recently squared off in court. TMZ says that Kim and Kris got their wish, and a judge has tentatively dismissed them from Chyna’s lawsuit.

The Kardashians’ lawyer Shawn Holley argued again that Kim and Kris didn’t have anything to do with the end of Rob & Chyna. Chyna didn’t have an enforceable contract with E!, so a second season was never guaranteed. The judge agreed and dismissed Kim and Kris from the lawsuit. But that doesn’t mean they’ve been set free of the Curse of Chyna. The judge promised that Chyna can drag them back into her lawsuit if shes able to come up with a new case against them.

It would seem that Kim and Kris have won this round. Or have they? According to Chyna’s lawyer Lisa Bloom, it wasn’t like that at all in the courtroom. Lisa claims the judge didn’t dismiss anything, and that Chyna...

The ink hasn’t even dried on the thank you note Mark Wahlberg sent to his crisis publicist for coming up with the idea to give Time’s Up his $1.5 million fee for reshooting All the Money In The World, and there’s now another pay scandal involving him and his co-star Michelle Williams

The Hollywood Reporter says the Time’s Up initiative has done more than just shine a light on how many pervs there are in Hollywood. It’s also quickly snatching wigs off the Tinseltown “Don’t ask, don’t tell” standard of salaries, much to the chagrin of Mark. Not only was Marky Mark quietly getting $1.5 million to return to do those reshoots, he was already making $5 million for the whole film as compared to Michelle’s $625k, despite them both having the same amount of screen time. I guess the studio has a thing for Calvin Klein models and wasn’t too much of a fan of Dawson’s Creek?

Michelle isn’t the only actress in Hollywood facing a salary battle. Tracee Ellis Ross gets paid waaaaay less than her Black-ish co-star Anthony Anderson, which leads me to believe the accounting department at ABC must huff paint since don’t they REALIZE they are dealing with the offspring of Motown ROYALTY?! Tracee should just send in Mama Diana Ross in to do her dirty work, but instead, she’s playing hardball in season five...

You should know by now that Mo’Nique is a fighter who’s not afraid to speak her mind. She accused Lee Daniels of black balling her for “not playing the game” and being difficult to work with, even after she won an Oscar in Daniel’s Precious. She also came after Oprah and Tyler Perry and accused them of conspiring to snatch the role in The Butler out from between her hairy legs. Now Netflix is on Mo’Nique’s hit list for what she perceives as color and gender bias based on the relative offers received by herself, Amy Schumer, Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle for comedy specials on the network. And she’s asking for a boycott.

Mo’Nique was offered a measly $500,000 while, if you’ll remember, Amy was was offered $11 million dollars and successfully negotiated an additional $2 million based on her relative worth compared to Chris and Dave (who each got $20 million). Apparently Netflix told Mo’nique “nah, we good. But you a legend tho!” when she tried to negotiate similarly.

Here’s Mo’Nique’s side of the story.

TMZ asked Paul Sorvino for his thoughts on the reports that Harvey Weinstein tried to ruin Mira Sorvino’s career after he sexually harassed her, and he didn’t hold back any feelings (or maybe he did and this is his sugar-coated answer) by saying that he’d put Harvey on the floor and kill the motherfucker. HA! He didn’t play Lips Manlis for nothing. And why do I have a feeling that someone is going to start a petition to get the judge in every future Weinstein case to add “2 minutes in a locked room with Paul Sorvino” to the list of possible punishments? – Jezebel

Saying that Leonardo DiCaprio is just friends with a 20-year-old model is like me saying that I have a strictly platonic relationship with the Prince Hot Ginge body pillow case I had made – Lainey Gossip

I don’t know if it’s true that Meghan Markle asked her mom to walk her down the aisle instead of her dad, but I do know that her step-sister just farted out three streams of glee while thinking about how many paid interviews this rumor is going to bring – Celebitchy

Those hand-on-hip poses tell me that all of Teresa Giudice’s kin graduated from Barbizon. At least she did something right! – Reality Tea 

I see that Gus Kenworthy spent a piece of his holiday picking off icicles from his ass crack hairs –

I don’t know how I made it out of 2017 alive (SPOILER ALERT: I made it out alive thanks to weed, weed, the promise of seeing Prince Hot Ginge in a prince uniform on his wedding day, and more weed), but I know exactly how I got through December. I got through it by powering my life bars on the hotness wafting off of the gayest cake in the land, the drunk opossum, Robin Roberts throwing a dig at Omarosa and the investigative journalism brilliance of Rhoda Young!

It’s the final Hot Slut of the Month contest of 2017, which means we’re close to crowning the new reigning Queen of Dlisted (aka the Hot Slut of 2017). Like every damn month, the first three finalists fighting for the HSOTM title (“Um, how can we fight when none of us want it?” – all four HSOTM finalists) got the most Facebook likes and the last one was picked by me. Your choices are:

The sugary gay extravaganza that a baker in Canada whipped up for a couple who requested the gayest cake ever. For those of you haters throwing a, “that’s the gayest cake ever?” look, you try to find a cake mold of Liberace riding a unicorn.

The drunk opossum in Florida who did her state proud by breaking into a liquor store and getting plastered on booze she didn’t pay for.

There was a real-life Grinch skulking around with a heart two sizes too small this Christmas, and according to Jesse Williams that Grinch was his estranged wife Aryn Drake-Lee. Aaaaaand (checks watch) that makes it three months and six days that Jesse and Aryn were to stop fighting over custody issues.

In September, Jesse and Aryn agreed to a custody agreement in which they would share joint legal custody of their two children. However the details of a physical custody agreement weren’t known. In November, Jesse won overnight weekend visits with his kids, but over Christmas, he didn’t get any overnight visits. And TMZ says Jesse complained to a judge about that.

Jesse claims Aryn was greedy and wouldn’t give up the kids on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or New Year’s Day. Jesse alleges that Aryn has been stingy with the visits, and rarely answers FaceTime calls. Jesse accuses Aryn of ignoring 2 out of 3 calls, and only lets the kids talk for a couple minutes on 1 out of the 3 calls she answers. That’s not really a new accusation. Back in the summer, Jesse accused Aryn of ignoring most of his FaceTime calls, and keeping the kids distracted with television when she did answer them. At least the TV isn’t on during those 33.3% of calls, right?...

If 2017 taught us anything, it’s that any person with a penis and a shred of power is a scuzzy scuzzy perv who likely did foul things to women and/or potted plants. When Harvey Weinstein’s mess blew up and into the open, everyone waved their pitchforks at Meryl Streep for dabbing herself with Ivanka Trump’s complicit perfume. Now that she has a movie to promote, she’s holding up a mirror to the Trump gals when called an enabler and says, “I know you are, but what am I?!

The New York Times had a long interview with Meryl and Tom Hanks to talk about The Post, their new movie about how The Washington Post decided to run the Pentagon Papers. Of course, you can’t talk to Meryl these days without asking her what she knew regarding Harvey She’s here to slap back at those accusers:

“…I found out about this on a Friday and went home deep into my own life. And then somebody told me that on “Morning Joe” they were screaming that I haven’t responded yet. I don’t have a Twitter thing or – handle, whatever. And I don’t have Facebook. I really had to think. Because it really underlined my own sense of cluelessness, and also how evil, deeply evil, and duplicitous, a person he was, yet such a champion of really great...

Last week, the Kardashians filed a motion to throw out the lawsuit in which Blac Chyna accuses Rob Kardashian of getting violent with her, and scheming with his family to kill her reality TV career. Chyna accused the Kardashians of attempting to silence a domestic abuse victim. Well, Rob got around to filing a response to Chyna’s lawsuit claims. I assumed it would have taken him longer to file, considering how jam-packed his schedule is, what with the naps and sock counting and…I don’t know, more naps?

According to The Blast, two of Chyna’s allegations of abuse were that Rob once knocked her to the ground during a fight over a phone, and once ripped her bedroom door off its hinges. Rob’s response is that Chyna “did not suffer any injury or harm as a result of any conduct.

He also states that any damages she claims should be offset by damages he claims. Like Rob’s claim that Chyna once tried to strangle him with an iPhone cord. Chyna previously claimed that Rob’s family ruined her chances at a second season of Rob & Chyna and painted her as a ho that’s too busy in the club to take care of their daughter Dream. Rob says anything he said about Chyna at the time was...

If Julia Child was still kicking today and cooking her French ways on TV, she’d start each show going to her local fish market for some tobiko and salmon skin since sushi is apparently now penetrating croissants in the year’s first food trend. Quelle horreur!

Wanna get baked? Check out this fatty: a flaky croissant topped with sesame seeds and stuffed with a piece of smoked salmon sushi with pickled ginger, wasabi and nori, served with soy sauce from @mrholmesbakehouse. This @dailyfoodfeed original comes from our NEW #SanFrancisco contributor @cyneats. Follow @cyneats for great eats throughout SF and beyond! : @dailyfoodfeed @cyneats : @mrholmesbakehouse #⃣: #dailyfoodfeed

Actors hungry for that Oscar prepared for hustling season last night by Spanx-ing up their bodies, saying goodbye to real food for a couple of months and gargling with lemon-infused hot water so their voices are moistened up enough for them to talk, talk and talk about how much they suffered while playing the role they should win all the awards for. Of course I’m not lumping Laurie Metcalf with those actors. She doesn’t have to do all that shit, because she’s Laurie Fucking Metcalf and if she wants respect, all she has to do is say, “I played Aunt Jackie in Roseanne.

Awards season officially started last night with the opening of The Palm Springs International Film Festival, where Jessica Chastain (Chairman’s Awards), everyone involved with The Shape of Water (Vanguard Award), Allison Janney (Spotlight Award), Gary Oldman (Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actor), Mary J. Blige (Breakthrough Performance Award), Holly Hunter (Career Achievement Award), Timothée Chalamet (Rising Star Award), Willem Dafoe (Icon Award) and more were honored.

Laurie Metcalf was there to honor her Lady Bird co-star Saoirse Ronan with the Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actress. We already knew this, but Aunt Jackie is a saint. I mean, she showed up to an award show to give someone else a trophy instead of getting one. A 20-year-old model is probably trapped under a passed out Leonardo DiCaprio right now, because he fainted over the thought of...

One-time enemy of Iggy Azalea Halsey is 23, she’s in Miami over the weekend, on a boat, with friends. Throw in the ol’ X = drugs and/or booze, and I believe that might be the makings of a mathematical formula for a good time.

But what Halsey forgot about having a good time is that it’s a little more difficult for a famous person. When you’re a famous person, you always have to be aware that someone might point a camera on you and possibly catch you doing something that will be a little hard to explain. Like these photos obtained by The Daily Mail, which show Halsey bringing a tiny spoon-like implement up to one nostril while holding the other shut. Oh whatever could she be doing?

The Daily Mail says the pictures were taken on New Year’s Day on a yacht in Miami as Halsey celebrated with friends and her boyfriend, rapper G-Eazy. They add that Halsey was also seen drinking and smoking cigarettes, and riding a jet ski with G-Eazy. Florida, coke, and jet skis? Who planned this trip, Kenny Powers?

I do love that...

I’m writing from the South this week where it’s a balmy 26 degrees compared to 6 degrees back home, so I’m kind of hissing the Amber Heard and Elon Musk decided to top me and ship their “we’re not dating” selves further south to Chile to both flaunt what life is like without parkas and show they can simultaneously not date and earn frequent flyer miles.

The Blast reports Amber and Elon have been acting like regular old tourists while trekking around Chile, which I guess means he had no qualms renting a regular economy gas guzzler from Avis at the airport in lieu of looking for a Tesla? They were seen eating on Easter Island, which I am elated to see since was NOT the most important meal of the day since I feel like half of their post-breakup canoodles have taken place at breakfast spots around the world. Elon’s brother was also there for the non-dating couple’s meal. Mmmhmm. Sure, Jan.

And here’s another one:

Considering Taylor Swift and Kanye West were the original sparring air heads long before Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un started laying their dicks nuclear buttons on the table, it’s always funny to see just how similar those two are. As yours truly told you yesterday, there were reports that TayTay’s ticket sales for the Reputation Tour weren’t that great and could wind up getting hawked on Groupon, but her team is here to say that’s NOT true. Imma let you finish, but Reputation will go down as the greatest tour of all time!

Billboard claims the tour is on track to be one of the highest-grossing of all time, with sales approaching a half billion dollars. Taylor is apparently using a strategy that is used by Jay-Z and The Rolling Stones, which prices tickets high to deter scalpers, puts more money in her pocket, and has seats available in primary markets up until the day of the show. This usually translates to fewer sellouts but major revenues if she can pull it off.

Even gobs of tickets are reportedly still available, those close to Team TayTay say she made $180 million in sales in the first seven days. She intends to add eight dates to the tour, meaning some cities could get two or even THREE nights of Swift screeches. Her cats can rest easy know their owner can continue...